Over the next six posts, I want to feature the work of friends. When I look back at the last 20+ years of my life, I am shocked by the people the Lord has put into my life. Incredible people doing incredible things; people I’m humbled to say I even know. Some of these people you know, and other are more hidden. I’d like to introduce you to some of them now.
I don’t remember when I decided to hire her. It’s funny being on the other side of the hiring process: the candidates probably wait and wonder with anxiety, but often the person hiring can almost forget the process is even happening. That was certainly the case when I hired Rachael. The only reason I remember the date of our first conversation was that a tornado hit the coffeeshop we were going to that very morning, causing me to have to change our meeting spot. Between my first conversation with her and the actual hiring, this thing called COVID happened. The pause button was hit on the search. Her resume remained on my desk, but I had to think of other things than the assistant director office that sat empty.
You could probably say I ghosted her unintentionally. Thankfully she was still there when the search resumed.
All that being said, I don’t remember much about actually hiring her. I only remember that I never regretted it. We were young women, and in the eyes of many people, probably too young and too female to be running an office of a diocese. But here we were, along with our friend Kristina, zealous to be serving the Lord through the Office of Faith Formation for a fast-growing diocese.
At her wedding, her family spoke about Rachael always being older than her years. I can vouch for that. I often had to remind myself of just how young she was and that she did require mentoring and leadership. She had a mature, highly-educated head on her shoulders, and she was sharp, passionate, and cared deeply for her work. And she still does; I don’t mean to write about her as if she is dead… It’s only that my time of mentoring her is over, as we both, in a sense, left the nest.
Still waters run deep is not a phrase for Rachael. It’s not that she doesn’t think deeply- on the contrary, that’s what I often valued in her most as an assistant director. But those deep thoughts don’t come from a placid exterior. They come from a fiery, excitable, choleric heart. And that, perhaps, is what helped me grow the most as a boss.
I have a lot to thank Rachel and Kristina for, but one of those things was helping me learn how to be a boss. It’s not something that comes easily to my phlegmatic self. How do you lead, how do you mentor, how do you help people grow into who God made them to be? They’re not you, nor should they be. It’s a little like spiritual direction - you're not making them you, you’re helping them be themselves.
How do you guide without spoon-feeding; how do you correct without hurting; how do you advise without squashing dreams; how do you step aside to allow failure and success?
It gives me such joy to see Rachael’s work today and to watch her impact so many people. She always had this ministry on her heart, and she always had the passion to accomplish great things. But now she has the tools and the maturity to lead.
Rachael is the founder of Magdala Ministries, a non-profit that helps women who struggle with pornography, masturbation, and other sexual addictions. It was born out of a need and out of a culture and a Church that said these things “weren’t women issues.” It came from Rachael’s head and her heart. And despite making the brave decision not to be on social media - a decision that many today would say was foolish and undoubtedly lead to a lack of growth - Magdala has flourished: Their virtual small groups now serve women in 37 countries on six continents. Many of these women live in countries where no other help is available for women recovering from sexual addiction.
Earlier this year, Rachael published a book with Ave Maria Press, Love in Recovery: One Woman's Story of Breaking Free from Shame and Healing from Pornography Addiction.
I’m ridiculously proud of her: for her courageous witness in her book and her work, her ability to balance her ministry with her vocation as a wife and mother, and her continued fidelity and sagacity as a strong woman working alongside a Church that doesn’t always recognize the importance of sassy, smart females.
Give her book to someone who needs its message. Support her work. Or simply say a prayer for her and thank God that there are people doing what she’s doing.